Mouse can't cook!

Look out, Yan!  Mouse just got her own cooking show...

   Mouse stood awkwardly in front of the range top, holding the meat mallet tightly in one hand.  She took a deep breath, put on a completely fake smile, and said

   "Hello, ladies and gentlemen!  Welcome to my new show, 'Cooking with Mouse'.  Today I'm going to show you how to cook...uh..."

   She glanced hurriedly past the camera.  There stood Dot, who held up a large sign that read "FISH 3 WAYS".  Mouse quickly read it off, then looked again at her camera.

   "The first way will be, um...fried.  Fried!  Yes, fried fish.  Uh, cod, I think.  Yeah!  Cod!"

   She turned on her heal to the little sink and counter.  She saw the seafood lying on the counter and quickly whipped it into the air by it's tail.  Unfortunately, a slimy tail...

   "Oops!  Heh heh, sorry there.  Well, let's just get another fish..."

   Our main mercenary turned again, this time using utmost care in bringing the fish to the counter.  Here, she paused.  She realized she was supposed to do something now, say something.  So, she did.

   "Uh....."

   She searched wildly for something she could do.  Putting on a fake-bright smile, she held up the mallet.  Slapping the fish down on to the counter, she hit it with the mallet.  Luckily enough, these fish had already been "cleaned", or else, well, it might not have been pretty...

   Holding up the resulting mess, she said "Now your fish should look like this!  Smashin' it breaks up all the bones so ya don't choke on 'em..."

   Spying the bowl of flour on the space next to her, she tossed the fish into it.

   "Breading!" she cried.  She pulled up the fish, now covered unevenly in flour, knocking over the bowl, and twirled the clumpy mess in midair for the camera to see all angles.  Then, tossing the fish lightly on to the counter to wait (where it slid on it's own and spilled flour over to the edge to totter), she pulled out a frying pan and some cooking oil.  Pouring oil in the pan turned out to be a little tricky...

   "Eh, there we go.  Oops!  Oh, well, I'm sure some of it must evaporate..."

   She ran off to get the fish off the floor (it had finally given up tottering and just cut to the chase), and came back to drop it into a frying pan filled to the brim with oil.  She dropped it from a foot and a half above the oil, and a splash issued forth when it hit.  The splashed oil ran along the counter until it ran into the spilled bowl of flour, creating a paste-y mess that dripped slowly on to the floor.

   The fish sizzled and bubbled up floor-grime through the oil.  Mouse looked grimly at the smelly fish/lump, and grinned stupidly again.

"Boon appetite!" she said, giving a thumbs up, "We're out of time, so the next fish recipe will be next time.  Bye now!"

Yes, I know I'm weird.  It's awful fun, though...